Tripp Lanier – Host of The New Man Podcast – How to Stop Playing It Safe & Experience More Aliveness – Ep064

Today’s definition of “dangerous” is more about the fear of looking like a moron, rather than out-running saber-tooth tigers. Men’s Coach and Author of “This Book Will Make You Dangerous”, Tripp Lanier has a wealth of insight to help successful men get “off the couch” and open themselves up to new adventures, so they can experience more aliveness in their days. He guides listeners through the maze of uncertainty on his New Man Podcast, to stop playing it safe and move into a broader perspective of what’s possible. Also a musician, Tripp treats us to an original song and conversation on the creative process.

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Tripp Lanier – “This Book Will Make You Dangerous” + The New Man Podcast


8:00 – The definition of “dangerous” has changed. Today, it’s more about fear of looking like a moron, rather than out-running saber-tooth tigers.

11:30 – A lot of us are waiting to “get off the couch”, playing it safe. But, engaging in a more expansive, playful life opens up aliveness.

12:40 – Relationships have become more transactional, resulting in loneliness. We need to get together in the same room, just to hang out.

13:10 – Kimberly talks about her response to the mass shootings in Allen, TX by creating Group Empowerment Drumming events for men. The Remo Drums HealthRhythms experience is a great outlet for stress relief, learning to be present while playing and coming together in community, and feeling supported as we navigate life’s trials.

What is going on in the human spirit, in men’s spirits, that’s driving them further into violence in our culture? Exploring this question can lead to finding the courage to share our challenges and realizing we’re not alone. Then, we can get creative and forge new opportunities for healing and welcoming more love into our lives.

15:54 – It’s easy to become isolated, making life about only work and family. Tripp talks about the vital “nutrients” that can only come from hanging out with other men. Without it, men go looking for it in other things, like overwork and porn. It’s a tell-tale sign, when life feels empty, that you’re missing vital connections with other men. Having genuine interactions and not getting stuck in surface-level conversations about work and politics is essential for feeling seen, cared for, validated and nurtured. Those  vital nutrients, Tripp says, relieve stress and keep men from being a pain in the ass!

19:12 – Musicians tap into “flow” or “the zone”, elevating into higher frequencies where a different kind of communication happens. Tripp talks about some of the most rewarding moments he’s experienced by being connected to others playing music together.

20:40 – Life is not linear in the way that so many people try to live it. Allowing space for cool things to arrive, that you’re not expecting, is where the magic happens.

22:32 – Tripp talks about having fun getting back into recording new songs.

Tripp Lanier - The New Man Podcast, Author: "This Book Will Make You Dangerous", Men's Coach, Musician

SONG: “Throw Myself to Fire” – ©Tripp Lanier – Find it on Spotify

26:55 – REALMen Rock! Join this powerful men’s group to engage in meaningful conversations in a private online setting and get coaching that will open up the possibilities for experiencing more aliveness, energy, vitality, and joy! Take charge of your path to better relationships and greater fulfillment in every area of your life.

28:50 – Tripp talks about the creative process of writing and recording “Throw Myself to Fire”, the fun of allowing it to create itself by opening up to all the possibilities.

30:12 – Fear of effort without payoff, or hearing yourself suck, can keep people from enjoying life and certainly from doing anything extraordinary. You can hear it in a person’s voice and language when they say, “I’m not a creative person” or “I’m not an artist, so I can’t create xyz”. It lets us off the hook and prevents us from giving ourselves permission to try new things.

If you’re feeling trapped, drained, isolated, bored, or overwhelmed, it’s an indication that you have an opportunity to lean in to where you might feel uncomfortable, uncertain, or afraid to look like a moron.

32:10 – Being in a room with others, moving real air, practicing and performing music isn’t remotely the same as sitting in a room, alone, recording. Both are great, but being with others, making music is a special form of elevated communication and energy.

Spending time just sitting on the couch, plunking around on the guitar, adds a lot of richness to life by enjoying the creative use of the brain. It’s time well spent in service of feeling the whole, connected Self – getting a taste of awe and wonder – as opposed to passing time on social media to try to find stimulation.

If it always has to be performative, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to just enjoy the process and allowing the flame of creativity to grow.

35:45 – When you prepare yourself with practice and training, whether in music, sports or anything else, you open the door for a higher level of intelligence, spirit, creativity to enter your experience. That’s when magic can happen.

38:43 – Kimberly talks about what it has meant to be the daughter of a masculine man with a big heart and  thanks Tripp for being “that guy” in his own daughter’s life. The impact that a good father has on a girl’s life cannot be overstated. It sets her up for being an empowered woman who owns her femininity, feels confident walking in the world, and prepares her to enjoy great relationships with men.

Tripp shares the flow of relationship in his marriage and family. It can be baffling to be the father of a daughter, but he’s committed to learning and understanding her needs. His willingness to grow with his wife, to explore, and to quickly move past the “roommate troubles” that inevitably crop up in any marriage make a huge difference in being able to drop the little things and remain in service to one another.

Relationships like these shine a light on the path for others. Love is alive. Love is always available. Step into it! 

💜 Thanks for this conversation, your good work in the world, and for sharing your music, Tripp!


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